your room smells of hookers.
And success
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
