Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
