College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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