sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize