Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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