he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
