His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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