Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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