ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
