that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
