dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
they need to just BURY HIM!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
