she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
