Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Vodka?
Forever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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