So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
