you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
