Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
