break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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