Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
A+ Viking dick
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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