I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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