I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
