"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize