One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
