If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
