Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
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That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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