It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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