I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
