Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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