No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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