Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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