just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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