I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
