i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm really busy with my period
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