Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
