brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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