i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
