The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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