He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize