I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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