I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
don't judge my taste in strippers
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
soo... how was my night?
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