My nipple is on Facebook.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
