me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize