You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
