good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
