Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
my liver is dry heaving
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
