hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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