I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
