Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
