explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
