Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
