She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize