Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize
