she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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