I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize