oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
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Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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