This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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