new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
