Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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