I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize