is your mom at the bar?
Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
