I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
