Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
