I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
