let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
