the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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