Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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