I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
